Do You Know What You Want?

Happy New Year.

I want to start 2026 by asking you a question: Do you know what you want?

Not what you think you should want. Not what would make other people like you or approve of you. What you actually want.

Until I was almost 50, I didn't let myself answer that question honestly. It was too scary, and I was too far away from what I wanted for it to seem like it could ever happen.

I was in a marriage that wasn't working. I was fighting against myself every day - biting my tongue, twisting who I was to be the version of myself everyone else wanted me to be. I was exhausted all the time.

And then one day, I snapped. I was done playing different parts, done twisting myself into versions that made everyone else comfortable. I knew what I wanted. And I was done pretending I didn't.

It was terrifying to make the changes. But I did it anyway because I felt like there was nothing else to lose.

Here's what I've learned: I wasn't alone. Most people don't let themselves want what they want.

They're afraid no one will like them. They're afraid they won't be accepted. They're afraid of rocking the boat, or that people will think they're getting too self-important.

So they stay quiet. They stay small. They keep twisting.

But here's the thing:

If you can be honest with yourself about what you truly want - and take responsibility for creating it - you will.

You don't have to be special. You don't need some gift the rest of us don't have.

You just have to get up every day, put one foot in front of the other, and work to be a little better than you were yesterday.

That's what I've been doing ever since. Looking for ways to make things better in my life - the food I eat, the way I move my body, the topics I bring to VA School, and the speakers I invite for our guest expert series. Not because it wasn't good enough before. But because I love making things better.

And one day - I promise you - if you take this on, you'll wake up living the life you once only dreamed about.

That's where I am now. I wake up every morning looking forward to my day. Building The VA Connection community. Cleaning the chicken coop. Planning our garden for spring.

I built this life one honest answer at a time.

So ask yourself: What do I want?

Not someday. This year. 2026.

Say it out loud. Write it down. And then start building it. I'm here to help.