I Was Just Starting Out Too

I was at a conference this week with my coach James Wedmore in Irvine, CA. 

The room was filled with entrepreneurs who are building courses and communities. People at all different stages - some just starting, some years in. 

I gave a talk about how I built The VA Connection and I got a standing ovation. It felt amazing.

But that's not what I want to write about. 

I want to write about what happened after. 

People came up to me. They asked how I did it. How I built the community. How I got started. 

And then, before I could finish answering, they told me why it wouldn't work for them.

• "I don't have a following like you do."
• "I don't know where to find my people."
• "My niche is different."
• "I'm just starting out."

Here's what they're missing: at some point, I was just starting out too. 

I didn't have a following. I had a Facebook group with a hundred members, mostly friends and family. I didn't have a course. I didn't have a conference. I didn't have 63,000 people in 47 countries. 

I had none of it. And then I built it. 

They're looking at where I am now and deciding they could never get here. But they're skipping over the part where I was exactly where they are. 

Every time, the same pattern. Ask the question. Get the answer. Reject the answer. 

I've been thinking about why this happens. 

And I think it's because it's easier to argue for your limitations than to test them. 

If you decide ahead of time that you don't have a following, you don't have to try building one. If you decide your niche is different, you're off the hook. If you tell yourself you're just starting out, you give yourself permission to stay there. 

It feels like protection. But it's a trap. 

Because here's what happens: you argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours. 

You prove yourself right. You never start. You stay stuck. And the whole time, you believe the problem is outside of you - the market, the economy, your network, your age, your skills. 

But the problem isn't outside of you. The problem is the story you keep telling yourself before you even try. 

I know this because I've done it too. 

I told myself I wasn't techy. I told myself I didn't know the right people. I told myself I was too old to start over. I told myself I didn't know anyone who would hire me as a VA. 

Not one of those things turned out to be true. But I had to stop arguing for them before I could see that. 

You know more people than you think. You have more to offer than you realize. Your situation is not as different as you've convinced yourself it is.

But you won't find that out until you stop making the case against yourself. 

The women who build successful VA businesses aren't the ones without limitations. They're the ones who stopped letting their limitations win the argument. 

What would happen if you stopped arguing for why it won't work? 

You might be amazed.