What If You Try and It Actually Works?

My whole life I was told I was too much. 

I talked too much. I said things I shouldn't say. I should know better. 

So I learned to be quiet. I learned to make myself small. I held back. 

And when I did get attention, I thought it was because I was doing something wrong.

It never occurred to me that attention could ever be good. 

But when I started my VA business, I had to put myself out there if I wanted my business to succeed. 

If I wanted to stop looking for the job I couldn't seem to land. If I wanted to stop thinking about where money was coming from. If I wanted to stop worrying all the time, I was going to have to do something different. 

The old voice was still there: What if you tell them and it doesn't work? What if they watch you fail? What if you're too much? 

I was so tired of the voices in my head. I wanted them to stop, and it felt like I no longer had anything to lose, so I did it anyway. 

It didn't happen overnight, but one thought, one action, one success at a time, I found my voice. I became self-reliant and capable. I built something that was mine. 

But I almost didn't. Because the fear of being seen is one of the sneakiest fears there is. 

When you're afraid, it sounds reasonable to say: 

"I'm still figuring things out."
"I'll tell people when everything is ready."
"I don't want to say anything until I know it's going to work." 

But the truth is that's not preparation. That's hiding. 

I see women do this all the time. They're interested. They're researching. They're thinking about it. But they won't take the first step because taking the first step means they might fail. 

But what if it does work? 

My student Cassandra almost didn't start either. Not because she didn't believe in the opportunity that was available. But because she didn't know if she trusted herself to follow through. 

She joined VA School in July. Launched in December. Had her first client in January. By February she'd earned back every dollar of her tuition. 

She didn't wait until she was sure of herself. She just stopped waiting to be sure. 

I love what she told me: "You might as well bet on yourself." 

The fear doesn't go away. You just decide it doesn't get to make your choices for you.