She's a cat. Don't expect her to bark.

On Friday my friend Alex said something that made me do a double take. 

We were talking about my friend Sarah and he said, "She's a cat. Don't expect her to bark." 

I laughed. It's such a perfect way to explain what happens when we expect someone to be different than who they are.

But then I thought about the flip side of this, when we label ourselves and stop questioning what might be possible. 

How many times have you said things like:

"I always overthink things."

"I'm a procrastinator."

"It takes me a long time to learn something new."

"I'm not techy."

"This kind of thing doesn't work for me."

Every time you say it, you reinforce it. You stop being a person who's still figuring things out and declare you’re someone who can’t. A cat who can't bark. A procrastinator who can't start. A non-techy person who can't learn. 

And every time you reinforce it, it gets harder to see you have a choice. 

I did this to myself for years. I told myself I wasn't smart because I was a terrible student. Said it out loud. Believed it. Let it decide what I would and wouldn't try. 

Until one day I realized: that wasn't a fact. It was a story I'd been telling myself for so long it felt like the truth. 

The labels we give ourselves aren't descriptions. They're predictions. And predictions have a way of coming true when we operate on auto-pilot. 

What if the thing you've been calling yourself isn't who you are? What if it's just a decision you made a long time ago that you can change any time? 

You're not a past moment in time. You're a person with options and choices and decisions to make. 

This week, I invite you to notice the labels you give yourself. Listen for "I always" or "I never" or "I'm just the kind of person who..." 

And then try something on that doesn't fit the label and see what happens. I think you might be surprised.