Here's the Secret to What I've Built

I read something last night that made me pause. 

"In order to successfully serve people, you have to psychologically get underneath them. While you are serving them, you have to subjugate your ego to their needs." 

That's from Stuart Wilde. And I think it's the secret to everything I've built as a Virtual Assistant.

Yes, you need the tech skills, the systems, the pricing strategy. I teach all of that. But underneath it all? The real secret is the willingness to make every conversation about the other person. 

Here's what that looks like in practice: 

You listen. Really listen. Not waiting for your turn to talk. Not already forming your answer while your client is still speaking. Just listening. 

You offer solutions without showing off. You're not trying to prove how smart you are. You're trying to solve their problem. 

You don't fill the space. You're confident enough to be okay with silence. You don't rush to fill every gap with words just because quiet feels uncomfortable. 

And you don't offer a solution without understanding the problem first. 

That's it. That's the whole thing. 

But here's what gets in the way. 

When you don't feel impressive, you try to impress. 

You're on a discovery call with a potential client and they start explaining their situation. Before they're even finished, you jump in with "Oh, I can totally help with that!" You list everything you know how to do. You fill every pause. You're so focused on proving you're qualified that you never actually hear what they need. 

Or you meet someone at an event and they ask what you do. Instead of saying it simply and stopping, you keep going. And going. By the time you're done, their eyes have glazed over. 

That's the hard way. Feeling unsure of yourself, so you're constantly seeking approval. 

There's an easier way. 

You center yourself. Feel good about yourself. You're proud to serve and do a good job. You don't need the client to make you feel worthy. You already know you are. 

And here's the thing: when you want nothing other than to serve, you get everything. 

By "getting underneath", by concentrating on what they actually need, you give of yourself. The client feels that. They respond to it. They trust you. They come back. They tell their friends. 

To serve is honorable. It doesn't mean you're less than. It means you're confident enough to make it about them. 

This is the heart of being a great Virtual Assistant. Not proving yourself. Not showing off what you know. Just being present, listening, and solving the problem in front of you. 

And when you do this? 

Great clients find you. The kind who respect you and value what you do. 

Amazing relationships form. Not transactional ones. Real ones. 

Referrals come without you having to ask. Because people talk about the person who made them feel heard. 

You have plenty of work. Not because you hustled harder than everyone else. Because you served better. 

And your life gets richer. Not just your bank account. The whole thing. 

That's what's on the other side of believing in yourself.